Every single moment must be lived. The good and bad alike. Nothing must be brushed sideways or ignored like it never happened. We cannot ignore what has already taken place. It’s just not possible. When something happens it has already taken place; it is now existing so ignoring it will never make it go away.
I recently found out that Creativity is where curiosity meets inspiration. Thats how I see it. Each and every person is a creative so lets not confuse artistry (painting,music,dancing,acting etc) and creativity. In fact human beings are the most creative creatures; We want to adjust everything ; Most of our actions adjust the natural form of life, for instance, farming, construction, technology, communication, childbirth even sex change is a thing now! We are Creative creatures!
Then there is thing called fear which literally stands next to creativity. You know what I mean? In fact let me just say they are conjoined twins. Any time you want to share your creativity with the world you cook a million and one reasons not to do it, things like; people may not like it, what if my family disowns me after they see what I’m made of? What if I lose my friends? or my church…its an endless list. Its fear. I’ll share a little story
Recently, lets say for many parts since the year began , I have been trying to find my voice. I have been struggling with the direction I need to take with my life, my interests, my art and just what I really wanna do; Its been sort of like a disoriented and quite demotivated space. Well, number one I have been feeling replaceable and unappreciated in my line of work and it got to me and I obviously needed to rearrange my priorities. I wanted to take accountability of my career and I had to ask myself If I have stood up to the reasons I began my career in the first place. If I have upheld my integrity, remained truthful and contributed positively to the entertainment space. I have had to do a proper self assessment.
In the same breathe, chronic allergies hit me hard very recently. A condition popularly referred to Angioedema. These allergies work in a way where my face swells. I get itchy and infected eyes and swollen lips which break out into sores in and outside my mouth. At this period I have to eat pureed food and porridge like a toddler. Its a tough place and lasts about 7 days ; 4 out of these 3 days being very tough and painful. The rest of the days are the healing days.
I was at a very sensitive space when the allergies hit me. My husband was outside the country enjoying America so this definitely did not help an already pitiful scenario. However, probably because of all this, I got a breakthrough. When the allergies attack I cannot speak nor talk , because these actions are excruciatingly painful to do owing to the sores. I also cannot get out of the house because my image is off and its better to avoid the onlookers and the many worried looks from the public. In short, I stay put. So, I stayed put and got my breakthrough.
My breakthrough is simple but very powerful. You know fear, that thing we talked about that stops you from doing a lot of exciting things like living your best life! Well, I finally figured a way around it! I will never fight it by the way because the more I fight it the more it fights back! I will however set some boundaries with fear. For example, fear is not allowed to make any decisions in my life. It can sit there and watch but yeah its not allowed to choose even off the menu!
Most definitely in my creativity, Fear is definitely in the backseat. I choose instead curiosity. That’s enough for my inspiration. And thats a life long rule. The rut that I was in ; stuck, unsure, insecure and almost broken is all behind me. There is nothing envious about fear.
Every second message I receive from a new artist needing help is about finances. Let me speak about this white elephant in the room. No one ever has finances. I am being super truthful. I began my career as a Karaoke host. When I did my first song ft Mhesh. Jaguar and I was requested to cover the expenses needed to create the song I thought my producer Phil was out of his mind. I mean I didn’t have the money. I was surviving from hand to mouth. But imagine what? I loved music so much I did a karaoke gig and put all that money toward my new song. You need to put aside the money excuses ; find work, get paid and put that money in your creative work. No one is gonna do it for you.
There are a million excuses to not thrive and to not create. But the choice is yours. Just remember there aint nothing original or special about fear. Its common and dull.. oh and its also boring. No one will look up to that life.